Now I wasn’t going to blog about this as some things should just be kept private but so many of you asked for photos of me in fancy dress that I feel compelled to share my Zoo Animal moment.
As I mentioned last week, the Costume Department has been coming under strain, not only because of the needs of the off-spring but because friends invite us to their parties and sadly, they’re not normal parties, they’re fancy dress parties.
I’m just not a keen fancy dress kind of a person and with a Costume Department that has nothing much in it except a nurse’s cape, an Elvis suit and a Water Police uniform (that we have to keep secret because it’s illegal for anyone not in the police force to have a police force uniform so if you asked me how it came to be in my possession I’d have to say, ‘I can’t remember’). And that’s it. That’s all that’s in the Department. So when we’re invited to a fancy dress party, if we can’t be a nurse, an Elvis impersonator or a Police Officer we’re in strife. So usually when we go to a fancy dress party, I’m that lame person in the corner who’s dressed in normal clothes except for a silly pair of glasses or a brighter than normal lipstick with a look that screams no effort made.
And my friend Jen knows I’m that lame but she insists on inviting me to her parties and all her parties are themed. I thought this time around I should put in some effort. I just didn’t want to be that person who’s the big disappointment in the room. So on Friday I drove all the way to the fancy dress hire shop, walked in and asked the young man behind the counter if he had anything specifically zoo animal.
He looked me up and down and said, ‘Just a minute’, and off he went and he returned moments later with a wire coat hanger with a plastic bag dangling from it and said, ‘Try this on’. So I took the bag and went into the change room and pulled out of the bag a figure-hugging leopard-print costume that reminded me of Michelle Pfeiffer’s cat woman costume except with spots. I tried it on and discovered it was also backless so I poked my head out from behind the curtain of the change cubicle and said, ‘Uhm, excuse me, do you have anything with a back on it?’
‘No, I’ve given you the one that’s the most covered.’
‘Well I’m just thinking I’m going to be cold in this’.
‘We don’t really have anything else’.
I took the costume home and decided Carl would be a Zoo Keeper as in Leopard Keeper as in my keeper so we were a good theme and I knew my friend Jen would be pleased with our efforts.
Archie drove us to the party because he had been asked to be barman for the night. I wondered how many other cat women-type creatures there would be at the party and what sort of costumes everyone else would be wearing. We walked in to the party of around 150 people and I had one of those moments, one of those moments like Bridget Jones when she walks into the tarts and vicars party dressed as what her mother describes as ‘a common prostitute’ only to find it’s not actually fancy dress.
Jen’s party was fancy dress it’s just for some unknown reason, many of the guests had chosen to dress conservatively as in like the way I normally do where they were wearing normal clothes with just an animal print scarf tied in their hair. I was definitely, definitely the only cat woman type creature in the room. I did manage to get a few looks and stares but at least I had my Keeper to watch my back and a good relationship with the barman so he could pour me another drink.
We had a great time and I did find a few animals to hang out with but no kindred spirits.
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