It’s the Drugs and Ralph and Mark and her Father

The dogs have fleas and Alfie has nits but that’s the least of my worries.

It’s Arabella again and it must be the drugs.

I know I got off lightly.  I was expecting to have to trawl through shop after shop after shop for The Dress but that didn’t happen.  She found The Dress in the first shop she went in to and I wasn’t even there.  All I had to do was turn up and pay for it (after putting it on lay-by and paying the balance weeks later after robbing a couple of banks).  But the ease with which this all happened made me feel uneasy because with Arabella these sorts of purchases are usually traumatising and not because of what they cost.

The First Formal Dress

She’s at home with me now, every day because of The Glange so that’s causing a few necessary adjustments.  She’s bored most of the time so downloads movies onto her lap top, skypes Tom the red-headed rock star who lives in Phoenix (don’t ask how they met, I’m not up to discussing him today) and looks at the latest collections coming from designers like Ralph Lauren.

So it’s the drugs and it’s also Ralph’s fault because on-line she found a dress ‘That’s so wonderful, mum, I could wear it to my wedding’.  Fortunately I had a wall to lean on while she continued, showing me a picture of the dress on her lap-top.  ‘Don’t you just love it, mum?’

‘It’s a bit revealing in the front, don’t you think, with that key-hole cut out.’

‘That’s the look, mum.’

‘But it’s backless too.  How would you wear a bra?’

‘Chicken fillets mum.  I’ve been wanting you to buy me some for ages.  When can we go shopping?’

‘What’s this for?’

‘For the formal.’

‘But you have the dress’.  And I reached into her wardrobe, pulled it out and held it up to her thinking the paracetamol overdose must have been toxic on more than just her liver.  ‘Here it is’.

‘I’m not wearing that anymore.’

Someone give me drugs.  ‘What do you mean you’re not wearing it anymore.  I can’t take it back’.

‘I’m wearing it to Flynn’s formal’.  Flynn’s formal is at the end of June.  She accepted his invitation before she was diagnosed with The Glange.  Yesterday I told her I didn’t think she would be well enough to go but she overheard me on the phone to the doctor who said she could be through this in a couple of weeks as long as she rests.  On the upside she has conceded she won’t be able to go on the skiing holiday she had booked so that’s been cancelled and she did take that well.  But she’s not backing down on the formals.

‘Why can’t you wear The Dress to both formals.’

‘Don’t be silly, mum’.

‘Well back in my day…’

‘Back in your day life was horrible.  And you didn’t have facebook’.

So at fault are not only the drugs and Ralph, it’s also Mark Zuckerberg.  ‘What does facebook have to do with this?’

‘When I upload the photos everyone will see I wore the same dress.’

‘Well don’t upload any photos.’

‘Mum, be serious.’

‘How much does this cost?’

‘Three and a half thousand’.

‘Arabella, I do not have three and a half thousand dollars’.

‘I know.  While you were out I phoned that friend of dad’s who’s the tailor and I’ve sent him the photos and he said he can make it for me and he’s coming over tonight to measure me and he said he’ll give us a discount because he owes dad a favour’.

So it’s the drugs and Ralph and Mark and her father.

The New Formal Dress

Please excuse me for not posting a recipe today.  You see, I’m feeling a little unwell and there’s a tailor about to arrive to measure my daughter for a dress and Arabella is saying, ‘He said we would probably only need three or four metres of fabric and if I’m not going to wear it again we could buy cheap satin or do you think we should buy the more expensive fabric just in case I do wear it again’, and, ‘He says he can definitely have it finished by the sixth.  Isn’t that great!  That’s the day before the formal’, and, ‘Do you like this nail polish?  I put it on while you were out.  I think it’s the same colour as my dress’, and, ‘Did you know my boss is giving me Thomas Sabo earrings to wear?  Isn’t that kind.  You should thank her mum; that’s so generous’, and, ‘Do you think a chocolate brown clutch would go well with the pink dress?  I think it would.   Can we go shopping for a clutch?  But what if we don’t find one?  I’ll be a mess’, and, ‘I could wear really high heels but then I might be taller than my date so do you think I should wear kitten heels?  Kitten heels aren’t the look mum but no one would be able to see I’m in kitten heels because the dress is long’.

And the dogs have fleas and Alfie has nits.

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  1. Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time lately…sounds like everything all at once…hope things turn around for you soon xx

  2. Arabella says:

    It’s all too exciting!!

  3. Denisetyrrell1 says:

    All I can say is…………..poor you!

  4. Making me glad I’m single and all I have to worry about is a demanding feline.

  5. I wish I’d been able to stuff my formal dress with chicken fillets, what a novel idea. But seriously, those haughty coture dresses?  (I liked it when you had to lean on a wall. Funny.)

  6. I excuse the lack of recipe – it would have been too much to look at with the pictures of the dresses.  Arabella is lucky to have the figure to pull these off.  Have fun with the tailor!

  7. Well, I just have to say I LOVE that dress! Tell Arabella if she is not going to wear the dress again, I will. And I do think that it would be a perfect fit. Don’t think that those shoes would be a size 8 1/2. Can’t wait to see the other dress. Arabella is absolutely gorgeous in the Pink Dress.  

    • hotlyspiced says:

      Thanks Cindy but that’s not Arabella in the dress. It’s one of Ralph’s models! I’ll upload a photo of her wearing the dress (if we ever get it made) after her formal which is in about a week.

  8. That dress is gorgeous … How old is Arabella? Hey, no worries on the lack of recipe … The chef/nurse/mom got wrapped up in stuff … I just don’t know how you do it all and take time to tell these fabulous stories 🙂

  9. Poor you… She is quite demanding hahaha

  10. I would have never dared to ask my Mom for such a dress, particularly when I already cajoled her into buying one. My friend’s kids had several prom dresses, from pre-prom, to aprés prom.
    I think you need a good stiff drink and a vaycay to Toronto!

    • hotlyspiced says:

      I certainly didn’t ever ask my mother for more than one formal dress. My mother whipped up my dress on her bernina sewing machine. It was light blue water-mark taffeta covered in tuelle. Very 80’s. And I wore it happily to two formals even after my date at the first formal put a cigarette burn in the tuelle. But then, Mark Zuckerberg hadn’t yet created the issue of having to upload what we all wore! I’d love a vay-cay in Toronto! What fun we would have! xx

  11. gardencorrespondent says:

    Well, it’s good to know that life goes on, Glange or no.

  12. Charlie, we need to get together again.  This time I’ll bring alcohol. Hang in there, love. xxx

  13. Choc Chip Uru says:

    Wow my friend seems like you have a lot on your plate right now – take a huge chunk of chocolate, breathe and hang in there!


  14. Oh Charlie. I shall pass on my mother’s words of wisdom ‘this too shall pass.’ x

  15. InTolerant Chef says:

    Maybe Alfie could cuddle up to Arabella and share the love, it would maybe distract her for a while? When I had The Glange I was sent to stay at my grandmothers for a month, maybe that’s another option- I mean for you, not Arabella. There is no shame in running away 🙂

  16. Oh boy… The teen years. I can so see Miss A now. Good luck with the new dress plan!

  17. So glad Arabella is feeling better.  So glad you are footing the bill and not me.  That second dress is a knock-out.  I’m so out of it that I don’t know what exactly the “chicken fillets” refer to, but I have the feeling this dress may need them!

  18. I love that second dress. I would totally buy it!

  19. Oh goodness. I need a wall to lean on just reading this! I wonder if perhaps more drugs would help – sleeping most of the time would leave little time for scenarios such as this one!!

    Also, just read your comment on my post – happy birthday!! And I’m glad the laces arrived xo

  20. Juliet Batten says:

    Well, and I thought raising a teenage son was challenging! But clothes never came into it.

  21. I think it’s time for mom to have a vacation…and at the very least a massage, pedicure, and a very strong drink or ten. 😉

    I have to admit though, I love the second dress! I’m sure she’ll look gorgeous!

  22. Oh dear, I think you might need the drugs, not Arabella.

  23. oh my i love both dresses and yeah blame it on Facebook, otherwise she could just have one formal dress haha.  

  24. Bitsandbreadcrumbs says:

    Since I’m catching up on my reading, at first I was going to say how sorry I was to read that Arabella is still sick…and I am. But now I can see that you are the one in need of sympathy here Charlie…and a belt of single malt scotch…and maybe a valium or two!

  25. Oh, this is one of my favourite posts of yours; it’s made me laugh right when I’m in the midst of lost-voice-work-horrificness-misery-stress-anxious-cry-life!

    Even if it makes me feel old, because my first formal was something like ten years ago now.

    That first formal dress is stunning. So stunning. I want it.

  26. Charlie, I feel your pain! Right now I have two Alfies with an occasional bout of lice, but the older one is definitely shaping into an Arabella! She has an eighth grade formal dance June 14 and she picked a gorgeous small black dress that makes her look like she is 20! I am not a happy mama! 
    My oldest, who is 20, and attending People’s Republic of Berkeley, went to her eighth grade formal in a white satin dress I made for her that was the replica of some Lord of the Wings heroine’s attire. I guess we have to experience the variety, as mothers:)
    I am sending you (and Arabella) hugs and kisses. I know you’ll survive, but you need to remain intact, which takes work:)

  27. OMG how am I missing your posts?  I have joined your mailing thingo 3 times and I still don’t get emails.  Anyone else having this problem?  I get everyone else’s that I subscribe to.  Maybe your feedburner doesn’t like me.  I’ve had to read several posts to catch up with the glange!  LOL

    I nearly spewed my coffee at $3,500 for a formal dress.  I’m sure there are people who wouldn’t bat an eyelash at that expense but I certainly would.  However, that’s a stunning dress.  Both dresses are beautiful.

    You’ve certainly got your hands full with Arabella, Alphie and the dog!  May they all be well, healthy and bug free very soon.


  28. My mum made my formal dress, despite my protestations that I wanted to wear a shop-bought dress, just like all the other girls, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE, GEEZ, MUM! I was the only person in the year level wearing something home-made and everyone was jealous, but I, in true teenage girl fashion, was unsatisfied because it was different. But on the plus side it was done cheaply so I could get my hair done too, plus I got to keep saying “make the neckline lower. Lower. Lower still. LOWER MUM, GOSSSSH!” Ahh, formals… and my very first pair of Bridget Jones undies 🙂

    PS – stick-on chicken fillets may not work. They have a connective bit between each cup which is sometimes transparent and sometimes not (then again, teenage girls don’t seem to care about flashing their bra these days). I recently wore a backless bridesmaids dress and had to tape my boobs with athletic tape for support because chicken fillets weren’t going to work with it, and those weird bras that wrap around your waist weren’t quite right, either. Good luck with that whole… situation xoxo

  29. Mandy - The Complete Cook Book says:

    Hmmm, it’s probably just as well that I don’t have a daughter…
    🙂 Mandy

  30. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella says:

    Oh goodness! I thought that the whole dress thing had been solved! 😮

  31. LOL, sounds like a barrel of fun right now in your household.

    Here, tell Arabella to just wear the same dress, upload photos, but then delete them a few days before the other event thing. Then just upload them later. Probably solved 🙂

  32. Kinda glad I only had sons.

  33. ChgoJohn says:

    I just knew Mark Zuckerberg had to have a hand in this! Don’t worry about the recipe, Charlie. Find a spot, put your feet up, and just relax for a bit. We’ll somehow survive without a recipe.

  34. Oh my goodness! The price (prices) you pay for having a beautiful and stylish daughter! You had to have seen this coming, right Charlie? 🙂 I love the thought that when you were her age life was terrible. That’s just the funniest thing…and I think young people probably do think that’s true. Well, I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to learn more about Tom in Phoenix. It’s a short six hour drive from my door to Phoenix…let me know if I can help! Debra

  35. You have the patience of a Saint hun, but I have to say your daughter has excellent taste in dresses. Can you please adopt me? 😉 x

  36. Karen (Back Road Journal) says:

    Oh dear…the saga continues. I think you need a spa day, no longer than a day.

  37. Well, it is a gorgeous dress, but I think I would want a little more coverage!

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