According to Archie, three black marks will qualify you as a Stage Mum and Archie assures me I have far more black marks than three so I now need to wear this appalling title.
I don’t know what I did to qualify.
But Archie does.
I gained my first notable black mark when he was in Year 11 and rehearsing for a role in The Gondoliers. He was rehearsing more than an hour away from our home and I had kindly offered to pick him up. I arrived at the scheduled time but there was no sign of him. I left my car and entered the building where I knew he would be and someone led me to a doorway where I could hear some singing going on. Archie was in there with four others from the cast learning to do a difficult five-part harmony. Well I didn’t want to stand outside the door waiting so as the door was slightly open I squeezed through and took a seat in a corner of the tiny room and rested against the wall. Momentarily! I thought I’d done that fairly inconspicuously but no, they had all spotted me. And Archie was mortified.
It was one of the very first rehearsals and these five cast members were all in the process of getting to know each other and now one of them had a mother in the room. The singing teacher took control of the situation. She frowned at me and said, ‘Ah this is a closed rehearsal, could I ask you to kindly wait outside the door?’ On the way home Archie asked that from that moment on, whenever I drive up to collect him from anywhere, could I just wait in my car. Well that’s hardly any fun.
I gained another black mark at the end of that year when Archie wasn’t awarded best actor. I couldn’t understand why the award had bypassed him so I thought I’d ring the Head of Drama and ask him to explain. When Archie found out he said I’d been interfering and that the award is only issued to a boy in Year 12 and as Archie was only in Year 11 he didn’t qualify. But I already knew that because I’d just spoken to the Head of Drama who’d clarified the situation for me.
My third black mark occurred recently. When Archie was accepted into University I just wanted to make sure that the money we were spending was going into a quality education and not some sort of expensive childcare facility. I phoned the college and asked to speak to ‘the person in charge’. A lovely man came on the phone who happens to be the Head of Drama and he took me through the program, the timetable, the classes Archie would be doing, the opportunities, his own qualifications etc. We had such a lovely chat. But then Archie found out all about it and was horrified saying he is now an adult and he had done his own investigative work and I didn’t need to interfere.
So that makes me a Stage Mum, a title I hardly think I deserve but one Archie finds most suitable.
Do you dabble in your kids affairs or was your mother a little too enthusiastic?
Only the best Stage Mums cook their sons their favourite foods. Archie loves seafood and scallops are something he adores. Here’s a recipe I cook for Archie when I need to make amends.
Barbecued Scallops with Zucchini and Prosciutto
Degree of Difficulty: 3/5
Cost: This is quite an expensive starter because although zucchini are readily available and therefore inexpensive, the proscuitto and the scallops are both expensive items.
Note: You need to purchase the prosciutto from a deli and ask them not to slice it too thinly as it needs to wrap the parcel without breaking. If not cooking on a barbecue, cook on the stove in a non-stick pan.
- 12 scallops
- 2 cloves finely diced garlic
- 1-2 red chillies de-seeded and finely chopped
- 1-2 zucchini finely sliced into ribbons – a mandolin is ideal
- 12 slices prosciutto
- toothpicks to secure the parcels
Take a scallop and sprinkle a little garlic and chilli on one of the flat sides. Wrap the scallop in a ribbon of zucchini. Wrap the zucchini in a slice of prosciutto and secure parcel with a toothpick. Cook on the barbecue for two minutes on each side or until the scallop turns white, then arrange on a platter and serve.
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