I might have mentioned Archie left boarding school with the highest number of detentions on record. There were many different kinds of detentions, the worst of which were ‘Saturdays’. ‘Saturdays’ went for three hours and prevented the student from doing what they’d really like to be doing like playing sport or having free-time or sleeping in or just being at home.
When Archie was in Year 8 there was a boy in his Year who was also in his boarding house called Will. Once a week before school the boys would have compulsory chapel service. Before the service the boys would have to line up outside the chapel in rows and be inspected by the school’s Sergeant for uniform discrepancies. One day Will was singled out for having hair that was touching his collar and his ears, both of which were crimes, and warned that he had one week to fix his hair or he would be given a ‘Saturday’.
Well Will forgot about the threat until the it was time for the next Chapel service. Then he flew into a panic. He ran through the boarding house looking for someone to help him but all the boys had already left the house and were walking to the chapel. All except for Archie who was lingering and loitering in the study room. With a look of reluctance Will asked Archie to cut his hair. Archie refused. Will begged. Archie had only cut hair once before and that was when he was two and he gave his sister a haircut and that didn’t end well. Archie said, ‘I don’t think I’m any good at cutting hair’. Will was desperate. ‘You know everyone’s already left for chapel. You’re my only hope’.
What are mates for! Archie felt obliged to help him out so he found a pair of paper-cutting scissors and sat Will down and as time was of the essence, Archie quickly trimmed around the perimeter of Will’s head clearing the ears and the collar very well and giving him an appalling bowl-cut. And then Archie thought he should give him a few layers to make it a more modern cut so he hacked into his hair giving him a few ‘steps’.
After he’d finished, Archie stepped back from his work and was horrified. What he’d done to Will was atrocious. He said, ‘Sorry mate, it’s the best I could do’. Will had a quick glimpse of his new hair-do in a dimly lit mirror and said, ‘Oh, shit’, and then the two of them sped off to Chapel. If only I had a photo!
They arrived outside the chapel just before the service started and stood in their line that was in the front row. Their house master walked past and after walking by Will he suddenly stopped and back-tracked. ‘Who the hell cut your hair?’ he asked. And Will said, ‘It was Archie, sir’. And the house master became very angry and yelled, ‘Right Archie, you’ve got a Friday detention for cutting Will’s hair and Will you’ve got a Friday detention for asking Archie to do it’.
Friday detentions went for an hour and a half. Usually you had to write lines, pick up rubbish, weed garden beds or prune bushes. Archie’s house master made the boys clear land – with no tools. The next week Will was taken to the local shopping centre and given a proper hair cut.
Nobody ever again asked Archie to cut their hair.
Prior to chapel the boys would have to run to breakfast. Eggs were always on offer but nothing like these breakfast pies.
The Best Breakfast Pies
Degree of Difficulty: 2/5
Cost: These can be made using regular ingredients that are all affordable. I only needed to buy basil and filo pastry.
- 6 sheets filo pastry
- 30g butter, melted
- 1 tbspn olive oil
- 2 rindless bacon rashers, finely chopped
- 1 onion, finely chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
- 400g tin Ardmona crushed tomatoes
- 1/2 tspn sugar
- 1 tspn balsamic vinegar
- handful of basil leaves, roughly chopped
- salt and pepper to season
- 6 tspns thickened cream
- 6 organic or free-range very fresh eggs
- a few chives, finely chopped
Preheat oven to 180C (or 160C if Fan-Forced).
Lightly brush a muffin tin (large capacity holding 6) with melted butter.
Take a sheet of filo pastry and brush with melted butter. Fold the pastry into thirds so you have a rectangle, then fold again so it becomes a square. Place the square of filo into one of the muffin holes, then repeat 5 more times.
In a medium-sized saucepan over medium heat, add olive oil. Add bacon and onion and cook until bacon is crispy and the onion transparent, stirring frequently to avoid mixture catching on the bottom of the pan. Add garlic and cook until fragrant.
Add tomatoes, sugar, vinegar and basil and gently simmer until most of the liquid has evaporated, about 10 mins. Season.
Spoon mixture into filo molds. Pour 1 tsp of cream over the top of the tomato mixture into each pie. (You can be more generous if you desire). Carefully crack an egg into the top of each pie.
Place in the oven for 20 mins or until egg is just set.
Sprinkle with freshly ground pepper and chives.
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