With the exclusion of the Gen Y’s who are reading my blog, would it be fair to say Gen Y’s are useless? They’re not stupid as they’re perfectly capable of getting amazing results for their final school exams, and they walk right on into amazing universities, and they hold down jobs. They can even converse with you. But that doesn’t exclude them from being useless.
This is what I mean by useless. Way back before we even started organising Arabella’s 21st, she asked me how many people she could invite. I said, ‘One hundred and not one more’. What she then did was make a list of one hundred people and then create a facebook ‘save the date’ page, and with the click of a button, she sent it out to the one hundred.
The months ticked by and then it was time to send out the invitations – not by facebook or by email but by the old fashioned posted invite.
I asked Arabella for the list and she put it on an excel spreadsheet and forwarded it to me by email. (They’re not stupid).
I then looked through the list. I wasn’t on it. Nor were any family members or any of my friends who have known her since birth. When I asked her why she said, ”Oh, I forgot’. Useless.
So with her list and mine we now have 140. And Arabella said, ‘Don’t worry mum, lots of people won’t come’. By ‘lots’ she means three.
And as a Gen Y, Arabella isn’t alone; those on her list are also tainted with uselessness. When I was working my way through the spreadsheet there were addresses missing. Are they homeless? Surnames were missing. Do I guess? And they don’t realise that an address contains a postcode. As they weren’t supplied, I had to look them all up.
Then the invitation asked them to email an RSVP to my email address. I received two. The rest, (of those who did reply), were sent to Arabella via text, email and facebook messages.
And this week there have been people contacting Arabella saying they haven’t received their invitation. Would that be because they didn’t supply an address? Useless.
Last night after I finished sending off another five invites to those who didn’t supply addresses and those who said, ‘Oh, but I gave you the wrong address; can you sent it to…’, (do they not even know where they live?), I said, ‘Arabella, let me tell you how things are done. And already she was grinning.
I said, ‘Back in my day if we received an invitation in the mail we immediately sent a letter to the hosts saying, ‘Dear Mr and Mrs Smith, thank you so much for the kind invitation to John’s party. I am delighted to accept and look forward to seeing you on the night’. On the night we would approach the hosts and introduce ourselves, (if necessary) and thank them again for the invitation then make a few nice comments about the party. Before leaving we would again thank the hosts. Before we went to bed that night we would take out our stationery and write a thank you letter to the hosts saying what a nice time we had and how lovely the evening was and how the cake was stunning and the speeches witty and how the music made the night.’
When I finished my etiquette speech, I looked over at Miss Arabella and she was stifling hysterics. She thought that was the funniest thing she had ever heard and the scenario seemed so ancient and old-fashioned I must be 300.
Reminding her of the difference between her generation and mine, I said, ‘And if you hosted a party the next day you listened out for the postie coming down the street on his motorbike and you rushed to the letter box so you could gather up all your thank you notes. If I had done that after Archie’s party I’d still be down there waiting’.
There was actually one person at Archie’s 21st who sent me a thank you note. It’s just rather than posting it to me, she gave it to Archie. Now Archie is also Gen Y so it didn’t occur to him to give it to me. Useless. It was some seven months later when I was in his room looking for something of mine that was missing (standard), that I came across a note addressed to me. I was lucky to be able to read it; it had been sitting there for so long the ink had faded.
Last night, after I was completely worked up at the lack of RSVP’s and those who think they can rock up even though they haven’t received an invitation, I got on to Arabella’s FB page and I sent a very stern message. It said, ‘The invitations to my daughter’s party contain entry tickets. No ticket, no entry. If you don’t RSVP we will not have food or drink available to you. And no need to ask if you can bring a ‘Plus 1′ because you can’t’.
Overnight the rush to RSVP was amazing. And suddenly everyone’s single.
And now we come to the asparagus and poached eggs on toast with hollandaise. Arabella talked to me the whole time I was making this about bras, work, exercise, a sore knee, hydrotherapy, physiotherapy, diet, weight, public transport, eyelash tints and her party. My head’s spinning but here’s a great way to embrace asparagus season.
- 4 slices good quality sourdough bread
- 3 bunches fresh asparagus, washed and woody ends snapped off
- 4 eggs
- 3 egg yolks
- 2 tbs water
- 175g unsalted butter at room temperature
- 2 tbs lemon juice
- ½ tsp freshly ground white pepper
- sea salt for seasoning
- 1 tbs finely chopped fresh parsley
- Note: I have listed the steps in the order the dish is assembled. You may wish to make the hollandaise sauce first then set it aside while you poach the eggs in one saucepan, the asparagus in another and then toast the bread.
- Toast the sourdough then butter. Place in the oven on a low temp to keep warm.
- Steam asparagus until just tender then drain and set aside.
- Poach eggs in a large saucepan filled with simmering water with a tbs of white vinegar added. Remove eggs with a slotted spoon and place on paper towel to drain.
- Place egg yolks in a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of barely simmering water. Do not let the water touch the bowl. Add water and whisk for about 3 minutes until yolks have doubled in volume and become much thicker. Gradually add butter one cube at a time. Keep whisking. Don't add butter too quickly as it needs time to emulsify into the yolks. This should take about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and whisk in lemon juice, pepper, salt and parsley.
- To assemble...place toast on a plate or board, top with asparagus, then the poached egg, then spoon hollandaise sauce over egg.